How could someone be okay when they know exactly that they are going to grow up?
To actually feel that youth is slipping away from your grasp and slowly you are facing the big wide world, while inside maybe you are still the little kid unprepared, but suddenly had to face the unknown. No one gave us a guidebook on how to live as a grown-ups.
The world feels so big and unfamiliar. It makes me feel somewhat insignificant and small, hence it makes me feel like I have no place to live my own tiny life. Why do people have to think about way too many things when they grow up? The world is moving rapidly, I don’t think we would have a time to catch a breathe, to slow down, and to actually notice what life has to offer.
And there are so many things to do, there are so many plans to make, there are so many degrees to achieve, so many new things to learn, plenty of places to go, faces we have yet to meet. How can we actually live when we have so little time on our hands?
Why do the grown-ups care so much for the taxes? Why do we have to care for the elections? Why does everything have to be involved with politics? Why do people strive so much for power? Why is it always about money?What is it to actually grow up? To spend your time busy doing things in order to have a stable life while forgetting it’s only minutes left to celebrate a friend’s birthday?
Have we forgot what’s essential in life?
Why do we have so many things to do and meet so many people, but still being lonely? Don’t we have friends to talk and family to share? So, what is it to actually grow up if not to feel the hollow inside getting bigger each day and to wake up alone every morning?
What is it to grow up? Other than to move from one place to another, to try your best not to get attached on something before moving away so far or before they move away too far. To never have a relationship so deep because you’ve learned how it could tear you apart when it’s over. To live your life in a hurry. To live your life unsettled.
As much as it looks like we could reach and hold a bigger part of the world, turns out when you get older you only get bigger hands but you could only carry so little of it. Turns out your legs does get longer, but your steps could only walk for as far as the road let you. It isn’t a matter of what you want to grasp anymore, it’s about what you have to hold, it’s about following the rules they all said.
And why is that? Why do we have rules for everything? Why can’t we try for the job we want? Why can’t we choose to rest when we need them? Why can’t we apply for the degree that we want? Who are the rulers? Why are we bind by it? Isn’t growing is about being free? About doing things by our own will?
Why does it feel like losing hope? Why does it feel like I have to pay it with my dreams? Why does it feel like I’m losing faith in all the tales I used to believe? Why does growing up feels like giving up?What is it to grow up? No one is actually ready to face the world without guidance, to lose another friend of years, to walk without directions. It’s so big, but it’s so little what I could do, where I could go. It’s about having so many options but not be able to choose.
What is it to grow up? isn’t it just about feeling lonely. When you have to run the world alone, without friends, without family, now the world is yours, but it was never for you to control at the same time. Now the time only runs forward and your youth has only gone further. How could you be free but also tied up?
Growing up feels like freedom, but you forgot how to fly after being stucked in a cage for so long. Growing up feels like freedom, but now you are stuck on the ground. Growing up feels like you finally have free wings but becoming earthbound.
It’s when you notice instead of teaching you how to fly, they made you believe that ground is the only place you belong and the sky is a scary place to fly.
Isn’t it a lonely place? Adulthood.
But, it’s inevitable to grow up. As much as we scared, growing up is not something that could be stopped by fear. Although, you can still choose what kind of person you want to be growing up.
